When the Seasons Change, So Do We: Coping With Divorce During the Holidays

Written By Karen Shatafian

I used to LOVE fall. It was my favorite season.

I’m not sure if it’s the pain of divorce or entering the season of midlife in general, and all that brings with it, that makes fall feel heavier.

Don’t get me wrong, I love dressing up for Halloween. I still love the pumpkin spice lattes and cozy sweaters, but fall to me signals the start of the holidays, and that still brings me grief and can be a lonely time for women in midlife.

Especially for women navigating divorce, or questioning their marriage, the shift in seasons can feel like a wake-up call. The air turns crisp, the days shorten, and suddenly everything you’ve been holding feels heavier than ever.

The holidays have a way of magnifying everything. The loneliness. The pressure. The exhaustion.

We start to compare our lives with curated Instagram feeds. Other women seem to be living inside a Hallmark movie, while you’re white-knuckling your way through the calendar wondering how the hell you’re going to hold it all together until January.

Here’s the truth: you’re not the only one feeling this way.

Divorce Feels Heavier Around The Holidays

This time of year for women can be incredibly stressful. We’re taught to grip tighter. To smile through the pain. To bake the cookies, send the cards, and show up at every gathering no matter how much we’re crumbling inside.

If you’re like me, and fall brings on the anxiety of the months to come, I want you to know, I see you.

If the start of fall has you wondering, “how can I push and pretend my way through another holiday season, with the ache and loneliness I feel inside?” I want you to know, I’ve been there.

And you don’t have to muscle through alone.

What You’re Feeling Is Real

  • The loneliness of sitting beside someone you no longer feel connected to or walking into family celebrations alone.

  • The pressure to create holiday magic for everyone else, even when your own joy is missing in action.

  • The exhaustion of keeping it all together when your insides are screaming for a nap and a freaking therapy session.

These feelings don’t mean you’re failing. They mean you’re ready for something different.

They mean it’s time for you to stop performing and start tuning in, to what your insides are begging for.

They’re trying to tell you it’s time to choose you.

We can use the change of seasons like a mirror. Leaves fall, days darken, cycles end.

The changing seasons remind us that it’s ok to let go, renew, and start again. Whether that’s in a career, a relationship, or simply outdated beliefs and habits.

Nature gives us permission to let go without apology. Letting go makes way for new growth.

One Small Action Step

This week, I want you to give yourself permission to let go of one thing. One fear, one disempowering thought, one fautly belief that drains you. Write it down, cross it off, and release it. Burn it if you have to.

Let the falling leaves remind you: shedding is necessary for growth.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

I created the Holiday Divorce Survival Series for midlife women navigating divorce or an unhappy marriage during the “happiest time of the year.”

It’s a set of powerful blog posts (and correlating coaching calls if you want deeper support) designed to be your lifeline before the holiday storm hits. We’ll unpack the grief, the pressure, the loneliness, and create a game plan so you walk into this season grounded, not gutted.

👉 Early sign-ups are open now for the coaching program. Spots are limited, and this support is exactly what the doctor ordered for women who are dreading the holiday season. Here’s the link to get on a free call to see if the short  Holiday Divorce Survival Program is for you.

Because I know what it feels like to walk into the changing seasons, that signal the start to the holidays, with fear and wonder if this will be the year you fall apart.

I don’t want it to get to that. Let me walk beside you and be your support to get through the hardest times of the year.

When the seasons change, so can we. And this time, you get to change on your terms.

Karen Shatafian

Karen is a personal development mentor and life and empowerment coach for women over 40. She’s been inspiring and empowering women over 40 since 2013. She is a surfer, a mom, an avid coffee drinker and lover of all rescue animals. Karen works with women in an intimate and supportive environment as she helps them gain clarity on how they want their lives to look and create new chapters after divorce, empty nest, or many of the other midlife transitions. She helps women gain the confidence to design their lives in ways that feel really f*cking good. If you’re a woman moving through midlife and you’d like to get on a free call with Karen, click this link.

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In The Thick of Divorce: Rebuilding Without a Blueprint