When the Seasons Change, So Do We: Coping With Divorce During the Holidays

I used to LOVE fall. It was my favorite season.

I’m not sure if it’s the pain of divorce or navigating the season of midlife in general (and all that brings with it) that makes fall feel heavier.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love the pumpkin spice lattes, cozy sweaters and dressing up for Halloween. But fall to me signals the start of the holidays, and that opens up old wounds and amplifies residual grief.

Plus, the holidays can be a trying time for women in midlife anyway.

Especially for women navigating divorce, or questioning their marriage.

The shift in seasons bring with it a wake up call to all the ways you’ve been still settling.

The air turns crisp, the days shorten, the December holidays are on the horizon and suddenly everything gets magnified.

The loneliness. The pressure. The exhaustion.

You start to compare your life with curated Instagram feeds. Other women seem to be living inside a Hallmark movie, while you’re white-knuckling your way through the calendar wondering how the hell you’re going to hold it all together until January.

Here’s the truth: you’re not the only one feeling this way.

Everything Can Feel Heavier Around The Holidays

This time of year for women can be incredibly taxing. We’re taught to keep all the balls in the air. To smile through the exhaustion and grief. To bake the cookies, send the cards, and show up at every gathering no matter how much we’re crumbling inside.

If you’re like me, and fall brings on the anxiety of the months to come, I want you to know, I see you.

If the start of fall has you wondering, “how can I push and pretend my way through another holiday season, with the ache and loneliness I feel inside?” I want you to know, I’ve been there.

And you don’t have to muscle through alone. In fact, it’s a hell of a lot easier if you don’t.

What you’re feeling is real:

• The loneliness of sitting beside someone you no longer feel connected to or walking into family celebrations alone.

• The pressure to create holiday magic for everyone else, even when your own joy is missing in action.

• The exhaustion of keeping it all together when your insides are screaming for a nap and a freaking therapy session.

These feelings don’t mean you’re failing. They mean you’re ready for something different.

They mean you’re ready to stop performing and start tuning in, to what your insides are begging for.

These feelings are trying to tell you it’s time to choose you.

Not ignore the people we love, but put your needs into the equation.

We can use the change of seasons as a loving reminder that change is ok. Leaves fall, days darken, cycles end.

The start of fall is telling us that it’s ok to let go, renew, and start again. Whether that’s in a career, a relationship, or outdated beliefs and habits.

Nature gives us permission to let go without apology. Because letting go makes way for new growth.

One Small Action Step

This week, I want you to give yourself permission to let go of one thing. One fear, one disempowering thought, one fautly belief that drains you. Write it down, cross it off, and release it. Burn it if you have to.

Or maybe you need to let go of something bigger: a job that sucks the life out of you, a partner that doesn’t see or validate you, an obligation that you leaves you feeling resentful, a friendship that drains you.

Let the falling leaves remind you: shedding is necessary for growth.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

I created the Holiday Divorce Survival Tooklit for midlife women navigating divorce or an unhappy marriage during the “happiest time of the year.”

It’s a set of powerful blog posts, a coaching call and 4 personalized emails, a boundary script, and an audio pep talk, designed to be your lifeline before the holiday storm hits. We’ll unpack the grief, the pressure, the loneliness, and create a game plan so you walk into this season grounded, not gutted.

👉 Spots are limited, and this support is exactly what the doctor ordered for women who are walking into the holiday season with dread. Here’s the link to get on a free call to see if the short  Holiday Divorce Survival Toolkit is for you.

I know what it feels like to walk into the changing seasons that signal the start to the holidays, with fear and wonder if this will be the year you fall apart.

I don’t want it to get to that for you. Let me walk beside you and be your support to get through the hardest times of the year.

And remember, when the seasons change, so can we. And this time, you get to change on your terms.

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