Midlife Divorce Isn’t a Crisis, It’s A Reclamation
Why Divorce After 40 Doesn’t Mean You’ve Failed
Let’s clear something up right now:
Despite what society, and maybe even your mother says, midlife divorce isn’t a failure.
It’s a f*cking reclamation.
But try telling that to a world that clutches its pearls every time a woman over 40 decides she’s choosing herself.
We’ve been taught that if we leave, we’re selfish.
We’re turning our back on the family.
We’re a horrible mother and human. (Ouch!)
If you’re anything like me, and probably all women, you have internalized every one of these messages.
These messages became our truth and the rulebook we live by. So…
We stayed longer than we wanted to.
We convinced ourselves that “good enough” was enough.
We kept the peace, lost ourselves, and thought it was normal.
Until one day… we couldn’t do it any longer.
I didn’t wake up one day, eager to blow my life up, just for funsies.
I wasn’t in a hurry to hurt those closest to me.
I stayed. I kept the peace. I tried harder.
I told myself maybe this is just what marriage is supposed to feel like.
I kept going... until my body, my joy, and my freaking soul couldn’t keep up the performance anymore.
One day, I looked around at the life I had built, and realized it was slowly killing me inside.
I had vanished somewhere between the people pleasing, being the “low maintenance” wife, and wanting more but
being too ashamed to say it.
Choosing Divorce Is Choosing Yourself. Here’s What That Really Means
When I finally made the decision to leave, I didn’t feel confident. I felt terrified.
But somewhere deep down, there was also a flicker of something I hadn’t felt in a long time:
Me.
And listening to her, was the bravest and most powerful thing I’ve ever done.
That’s why I say this with my whole chest:
Midlife divorce is not a crisis. It’s a comeback.
Make no mistake, I’m not here to sugarcoat it. It’s also THE HARDEST thing I’ve ever done.
But, in a world that tells women choosing ourselves is taboo, choosing yourself is the first courageous step toward reclaiming who you are.
The Real Crisis? Staying in a Marriage That’s Making You Forget Who You Are
Does this sound familiar?
✖️ Shrinking yourself to avoid conflict
✖️ Smiling through resentment
✖️ Abandoning your truth for the sake of “stability”
✖️ Biting your tongue to keep from disappointing anyone
✖️ Waking up next to someone you no longer recognize, and pretending that’s “just how marriage is.”
THAT’S the f*cking crisis.
Being a woman who you no longer recognize in the mirror.
Settling for “that’s how all marriages are,” when deep down you know there can be more, and you WANT more.
Walking away from it?
That’s not a crisis.
That is self-trust in action.
That’s choosing yourself.
That’s a f*cking reclamation.
Divorce Isn’t a Failure. It’s A Courageous Decision
Here’s something we need to hear more…
You don’t need permission.
You don’t need a dramatic story.
You don’t need to prove you’ve suffered enough.
You just need to know, really know, that the life you’re living no longer feels like your own.
I’ve coached women through every phase of this journey, from the ones who whisper, “Am I crazy for wanting more?” to
the ones who are packing boxes, booking therapy, and choosing their peace.
And this is what I tell them:
You’re not crazy.
You’re waking up.
You can love your kids.
You can cherish the memories.
You can hold deep gratitude for the life you built…and still choose to walk away from the marriage that gave it to you.
And this, right here, is the part no one talks about.
The gut-wrenching moment when you choose you over everyone else…in a world that trained you to sacrifice every last drop of yourself to keep the peace.
Because women are conditioned to disappear.
To be the glue. The nurturer. The martyr.
To stay, no matter how much it costs them.
So when you choose yourself?
It will feel wrong.
You’ll question everything.
You’ll feel like the worst woman on the planet.
But hear me loud and clear:
You can love your children with your whole heart and still want more for yourself.
You can grieve the woman you were and celebrate the one you're becoming.
You can be terrified… and still take the first step toward freedom.
This isn’t selfish.
This is self preservation.
What If Divorce Is the First Step Back to YOU?
How would it feel to reclaim you life?
Your voice.
Your desires.
Your dreams.
Your truth.
If You’re in the thick of it right now… I see you.
If you’re hovering at the edge, wondering if you’re really going to do this...
If you’re in the swirl of second-guessing, guilt, grief, and scary “what-the-hell-now?” energy...
If your body is screaming for clarity while your brain replays every conversation you’ve ever had with your partner...
You are not alone.
I’ve walked this path. I’ve helped other women walk it, too.
And I know how soul-crushing and soul-awakening it can be, at the same time.
Let me walk beside you.
Grab these free tools I created for women just like you:
✔️ Midlife Divorce: Making The Decision - The Toolkit
✔️ Still Standing: Help With The Shame and Guilt of Divorce-A One Page Shame Buster
✔️ Rebuilding After Divorce-10 Journal Prompts to Help You Heal
Want to Talk to Someone Who Gets It?
If you’re done spiraling, done gaslighting yourself, and just want to talk it through with a coach who’s lived it,
→ Book your free 1:1 call here
Want a Sisterhood of women all reclaiming their lives
This is your space to ask the hard questions, vent without judgment, and be surrounded by women who get it.
You’re not failing. There’s nothing wrong with you.
You’re choosing yourself.
You’re reclaiming your f*cking life.
And that?
That is the most powerful thing you’ll ever do.
