The Real Reason Women Over 40 Are So Tired: You’ve Been Trained to Ignore Your Needs
Let’s Get One Thing Straight…
You’re tired of doing things but not because you’re lazy.
You’re tired because you’ve spent decades being everything to everyone.
Nothing in our patriarchal society has ever taught women how to care for themselves in a way that’s actually restorative or sustainable.
If you’ve been wondering why even a full night’s sleep doesn’t leave you feeling rested, there’s nothing wrong with you.
An you’re definitely not alone.
The Real Reason You're Exhausted (Hint: It’s Not Just Hormones)
While peri/menopause and shifting hormones can certainly f*ck with your energy, there’s something even bigger at play no one really talks about: societal conditioning.
The way women are raised to believe they have to sacrifice their own needs for the sake of others.
According to research from the McKinsey’s Women and Burnout Report, women, especially in midlife, are drowning in invisible labor:
Managing homes
Supporting aging parents
Helping adult children launch (return home) or with adulting in general
Navigating career demands
Holding emotional space for everyone around them
And let’s not forget the pressure to look good while doing it all. And heaven forbid we should show signs of getting older.
We were trained to:
Make sure everyone else is okay before ourselves
Hustle even when we’re exhausted
Apologize for needing rest or support
Believe we have to earn a freaking break
Feel guilty for wanting joy, creativity, or a life that is more than just okay
This is a patriarchal mindfuck. And it’s stealing your energy.
👉 Related: Why Midlife Women Need Pleasure, Purpose, and Permission Now More Than Ever
The Hidden Cost of Being the “Good Girl”
Somewhere along the way, our goal to be the “good girl” forced us to grow up trying to live up to an unattainable standard:
Being the perfect partner and/or parent
Being the overachieving employee
being the selfless caretaker
And the cost?
Burnout
Resentment
Numbness
…A life that looks full but definitely feels empty in places.
Here’s the truth no one tells you:
You don’t need to do more.
You need to be more.
You need to remember who the hell you are.
And that starts with reclaiming your right to:
Radical rest
Unapologetic joy
Pleasure without guilt or permission
👉 Related: Why We’re No Longer Buying The Good Girl Myth
✨ I’m not talking about a to-do list overhaul, I’m pushing for a whole ass Pleasure Reset!
This month, I’m inviting you into a different kind of shift.
Not one that asks you to work harder. Or get more organized.
But one that invites you to finally honor what you need:
🌀 Unapologetic Rest. Power Packed Pleasure. Radical Self-Indulgence.
Without shame. Without guilt. Without over-explaining.
Sound good?
👉 Join me for:
💌 The Pleasure Reset: A 3-Day Journey to Reconnect with Joy, Pleasure, and Your Inner Fire
It starts July 1, and it’s designed to help you reconnect with your body, your joy, and your spark.
Because you don’t need a new life. You need a way back to yourself.
Bonus: Want a Taste of What’s Coming?
Download my free guide:
🎁 Permission to Pause: 7 Rebellious Rest Rituals for the Woman Who’s Ready To Reignite Her Fire
It’s a radical little tool kit for reclaiming your time, power, and pleasure, on your terms.
Inside, you’ll find:
Creative rest rituals that go beyond bubble baths
Journal prompts to help you get clear on what you need
A personalized tool to create your own Pleasure Pause Plan
It’s time to take back our pleasure just like TSwift took back ownership of all her music.
Ready? Let’s F*cking GO!
👉 Related: The Grief No One Talks About, because sometimes exhaustion is emotional, and unprocessed grief is part of the weight you’re carrying.
📥If you’re a woman who wants more midlife inspiration and tips to live like you freaking mean it, no matter what stage of life you’re in, scroll down to receive my email newsletter, Dare You To Move.
I double dog dare you! ;)
🔗 Sources & Further Reading
Hochschild, A., & Machung, A. (1989). The Second Shift
McKinsey & Company. (2022). Women in the Workplace Report
