You Were Never Meant to Live by the Rules

The Unwritten Rulebook That Midlife Women Have Been Following

Early in the game, women get handed a rulebook.

No one asks us if we want it.

It comes from the generations before us: obligation, “shoulds,” and a whole lot of “good girl” conditioning.

It wasn’t written down, but we checked the boxes like it was gospel.

Be polite. Be agreeable. Keep the peace. Don’t want too much. Don’t rock the boat. Be grateful. Be quiet. Be good. Be small. Sacrifice.

And whatever you do… don’t make anyone uncomfortable. And never, ever disappoint anyone.

Midlife women know this rulebook well.

We’ve spent decades building families and building bank accounts, working, running households, and holding the emotional weight of everyone around us. We wore the mask of “fine,” even when we were bone-tired and emotionally depleted inside.

We became the pleasers, the fixers, the peacemakers. 

That was the job, right?

These invisible expectations that were tied up in generational programming. Sealed with the silent expectation that our worth was tied to how well we served others.

And let’s be honest: we followed them.

And no surprise, somewhere in that hustle, we lost ourselves.

Midlife Is A WakeUp Call

Midlife arrives like a freaking lightning bolt.

And suddenly, we see it.

We see how much of our life has been shaped by what others needed from us.

How often we said yes at the expense of our own needs.

How we’ve been silently asking: When is it my turn?

And we realize: “I love my people, but I need MORE.”

This isn’t a crisis.

It’s a midlife awakening.

And it’s powerful.

Because once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

And that’s when the real rebellion begins.

Burn the F*cking Rulebook and Reclaim Your Power

This is where we say no more.

No more shrinking.

No more chasing gold stars for self-abandonment.

No more rules that were never meant for women like us.

Women with desires and drive.

With fire.

With big ideas and a deep knowing that we were made for more than managing calendars, keeping everyone happy, and worrying about being “nice.”

This midlife awakening is when you get to burn the f*cking rulebook and start living a life that feels like yours.

A life where you get to put yourself at the top of the list.

Where your pleasure, your voice, your dreams f*cking matter.

Full transparency, I’m not saying it’s easy.

Unhooking from a lifetime of “shoulds” can feel scary as hell.

It feels like you’re doing something wrong.

You’ll feel like a fish out of water.

But it also feels like freedom.

And here’s what I want you to hear, loud and clear:

You were never meant to live by the rules.
Not those rules, anyway.

The ones written by patriarchy, perfectionism, and people pleasing.

The ones that told you your value was in your sacrifice.

The ones that whispered, You can want… but only if it doesn’t inconvenience anyone.

F*ck. That. Noise.

This chapter of life? It’s not about shrinking or settling.

It’s about permission to burn the fucking rulebook so you can write your own.

It’s about saying “no” to the “shoulds” and “yes” to your desires.

It’s about doing life on your terms, whatever that looks like for you.

Stop People Pleasing and Start Small

Here’s the thing:

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Or ever.

Just choose one “should” you’re done with.

“I should always be available.”
”I should say yes even when I don’t want to.”
”I should put everyone else first.”

Name it. Write it. Burn it if you need to.

Because every time you let go of a “should,” you make space for what you truly want.

This is how you give the bird to the patriarchy AND begin to heal outdated generational conditioning, by choosing yourself.

Midlife Isn’t The End, It’s The Starting Line

If you’re just starting to question, ‘WTF am I doing with my life?’ you are not alone.

This is the exact moment where you get to pivot.

To break the rules that were never meant to serve you.

To see that self-discovery in midlife isn’t indulgent, it’s necessary.

Turning 40, 50, or 60 isn’t the end of your story, it’s the start of your next chapter. One where you’re fully expressed, deeply alive, and unapologetically you.

You were never meant to live by the rules.
You were meant to create your own.

And the truth is:

You’re not behind. You’re right on time.

You’re waking up.

You’re starting to see the patterns.

And from here? Anything is possible.

You get to write your own rules now.

You get to build a life that feels bold, true, juicy, and fully yours.

This isn’t the end of your story.

It’s the beginning of who you are becoming.

So I’m asking you,
What’s one “should” you’re done with? Comment below or DM me.

Name it. Light a metaphorical (or literal) match, and let that shit burn.

And then, decide what YOU want instead.

Because midlife isn’t a crisis. It’s a f*cking uprising.

And we are the revolution.

**If you’re ready to rewrite the rules and reclaim your life so you can love the hell out of midlife, let’s get on a free discovery call and we can come up with next best steps.